A little poem I wrote...

I'm being lazy today, cause it's too damn hot, so I hope you enjoy this little thing I wrote.

Where is my love?

By:
Americo Alvarenga

Where is my love? Blind, I cannot see,
The walls are dark and eyes are new to me.
First breath harsh, do hear me weep,
For you, I came, and thought I’d keep?

Right here my love. Where you left me,
In this plane I am, for you’re older than me.
Give me time, and I shall be yours,
For all my love, stay true your course.

Where is my love? Long years have passed,
A young face before mine, a beautiful lass.
Is this you who smiles at me with glee?
If so, why go, I came for thee?

Not there my love, though here I am.
The beauty before you, sees what I can.
The heart and soul that you have to share,
Ne'er you worry of her, I’m the one who cares.

Where is my love? I fear you are here.
Hurt I am, is my heart still sincere?
These walls I’ve built, of hurt and pain,
I feel are too strong and will not wane.

Come here my love. Your pain is undone,
You have found me at last, we are now one.
From here on out, we face the world as a pair,
And we shall show them all, that there are still two that care.

Where is my love? Have I lost you at last?
Cared for you more each day, is that all in the past?
I see thine eyes are loving, yet your smile fades,
Have you had your fill, and now you away?

Forgotten my love, of who I really am?
I have fought for your love, did you think it a sham?
Eons will pass, the skies will one day fall,
But my love for you, will outlast them all.

Where is my love? Blind, I cannot see,
The walls are crumbled of age as old as me.
Last breaths harsh, do hear me sadly weep,
For you, I came, I stayed, I had, and thought I’d keep?
Now thy mortal coil, you have shuffled aside,
And I alone and heartbroken, cannot this life abide.
For I had you a lifetime, and for that grateful I will be,
But off to find my love, for that is where I must be.

Right here my love. Where you left me,
In this plane where we began, here in this eternity.
We had our time, and I was always yours,
For all my love, you stayed true your course.
Now passed am I, and so you shall be too,
For to experience life, death, a friend in kind, is due.
But fret not dear heart, for now you know we are the very few of,
Those among those, who need never ask, Where is my true love.

It's Either All Funny, Or It's Not...

I'm not one for drama, and there's been plenty floating around the orbit that I call my fat ass lately. You could almost cry for all the Shakespearean 'doings' a transpiring. Yet, I've decided to take a moment to smile.

I'm on the mindset that you can laugh at everything, or nothing at all. There's nothing that's too sacred to make fun of. Now being cruel is one thing, being an ass to someone who's just lost their folks in a fire by going to the scene of the smoking wreckage with an apron on that says, "We don't need no water, let this motherfucker burn!", may be a bit much. But that doesn't mean you cannot make a house on fire joke ever again for the rest of your life.

One of my nearest and dearest has been acting like an ass lately. And it all culminated the other night by him being a dick. It's sad to say the least, and I've been racking my brains out trying to figure out how to feel about this. My boy's gotta come around, there's no if, ands, or buts about it. And that'll take time. But right now, I was just thinking about the time when it'll be all squashed, and we can make fun of this. Hope it won't take long.

The Stripper Experience

So I couldn't post all week what I've been doing, because my brother reads my blog, and it was pretty much all focused on him. My brother is getting married, and I've spent the last month organizing his bachelor party. And today was our culmination unbeknownst to him. His was thrown aback by what I was able to pull out of my ass, thanks to friends and family. During the day we had a barbecue, and at night, we got into a limo (my first limo experience mind you) and headed to two strip clubs. Now I've never been, but I was sure as hell acting like I was an old pro. The first place we went to was The Hustler Club. The one thing I found interesting was that no matter what cliche is depicted on film, it is well deserved. Every single character that I have ever seen on film in a strip club was there in full force. But mind you, that's not what we were there for.

The girls were beautiful. And nimble. But I've noticed one thing, you've seen one tit, you've more than likely seen the other, and them all. It truly did nothing for me, but my brother enjoyed the hell out of it, both places we went to. I ended up spending $300 in 4 hours. And would have been a lot more, but I got the hook up with some of the things.

Bits of advice for you from this experience.

Get drunk before you go, cause being sober makes for lower enjoyment of grindage.

Drinks cost an arm and a leg, if you're gonna order, order one and nurse it.

Strippers are not gonna fall in love with you, no matter what the look in their eyes say.

That thing that she does to your crotch, she's done that to like 50 guys tonight.


Now it's bed time, must sleep.

Ah to be 8 again...

My little cousin had his 8 year old birthday party. We went to a miniature golf course. We had cardboard pizza, played overly priced games to earn cheap tickets to get crap. We played miniature golf, we hung out, and when he opened his presents, he got $200. WTF? Times change, I barely get $200 on street corners. And I go down.

I asked him what he's going to spend his money on. He said, "Toys!" What a boy.

The toys may change, but man, the sentiments still stay the same.

I plan on buying a new camera for the film I plan to shoot the end of this Summer. My nipples get hard every time I think about it. Of course, it costs $5,000. But it truly is an investment. Though, it's still really hard not to get excited about my new toy.

Ah, to be 29 for another year.

Human observations, a continuing fascination

Everyone's got a story. Not one person can say they don't. Some are sad, some are happy. Some scare you, some make you feel great. Some are unfair, and some, justice gets served. And I write them down.

What people tend not to take notice, is that, when being friends with a writer, you have an unwritten contract with this person. You've just let yourself become molded and recreated in any world he deems fit. Nothing that we don't do on a normal basis, the only difference is, we write it down.

I study the human condition, my biggest past time is observing people. How they interact with each other, how millions of years of evolution have kept them killing (for the most part) each other and basically putting up with one another, and on rare occasions enjoying and missing each other's company. Now, this may not be any great thing for anyone. Everyone might do this. But what makes it weird for me, is when I partake in my own study.

I am after all human. I have the same needs and wants as everyone else (at times more so). So what happens when my involvement in my studies tend to muddle up the crystal clear pristine viewpoint that I usually have? Let's just say it's interesting.

If I fall in love, as with most, my perspective is nonexistant. I have plunged myself into the deep end of the pool. On rare occasions pulling my head above water to get my bearings, but for the most part, delved into, for lack of a better phrase, the sea of love.

I have, as of late, come out of the most loving relationship I have ever been in. I loved her more than any word here could ever merit. Six months have passed, and there wasn't a day that has went by that I don't wish I was there in her arms again. But I was able to take stock, I pulled myself out of that ocean, and when I turned around, it froze over. A thin layer of ice, just thick enough to keep me out. So I went to sit here on the beach again, like I've done so many times before, and watched. It's a lonely observation, one that God would have if I believed in such a thing. But there is serenity, a strange, lonely kind, but one nonetheless. It's hard to figure if I think I'm better or luckier than those I see, or if I'm just jealous. Might be both. I know it might sound condesending, but what can I say, I'm watching you.

Now love, is a strange thing. No one word will ever truly define it. I started to care about someone again, and she me. Talk about a match made in heaven, you would think we were twins, if not for the fact that she looked like a goddess, and I am a Mexican Hobbit. I felt my toes starting to get wet, didn't notice I was creeping into the ocean again. However, I saw the ice in the horizon, and I didn't plunge in this time. I thought to myself, if the tide takes me, let it. But I won't dive in again, not until I know. We both stood at the edge, and I can say, I was more in the water than she was. But I got out, knowing that she wasn't going in. I turned my back on the ocean again. Not forever mind you, just for now. You can never turn your back on the ocean for too long, or the waves will get you.

So here I sit on the beach, in my favorite spot, watching all of you, as some of you do as well. I know the people in the ocean aren't alone, and I know some may drown. I know I'm not the only one on the beach, but I write it down.

And once in a while, I look up from writing, and smile. Cause that ocean calls to me, as it does all of you. And my pen writes underwater.

Comic Books, the new Mythology

I picked up some comics today (yeah I read comic books, I also play video games, and watch cartoons, though it's usually on Adult Swim) and Infinite Crisis #7 was among them. Most of you won't know what that is, but it's a defining issue in the DC Universe. Not to give you the ends and outs of what happened in the book, but it has truly brought back Super Heroes.

Where have they gone you may ask? I thought those geek conventions were out in full force all the time?

Well it's true, the characters have always been there, but it's been ages since they've been Super.

See, comics tend to change with the times, as kids get older, the tight spandex tend to turn into black leather, for a cooler look. We get Wolverine looking more savage than before. We get Spider-Man in an incredibly gay looking costume (though for a limited time only), just to boost the sales of the books. But we've seen little of a team or an individual in a comic standing boldly again, looking out into the ether of the evil out there. Clenching his fist, or taking to the air, or running headlong into it and saying "Not today, not on my watch evil doers."

Comics are our Mythology. They are the Gods on Mount Olympus for our generation. We relate to them, for if they can take on so much, then we few, should be able to stand the ground as well. They are the benchmark for how we see the best in ourselves. Any kid could relate to Batman when it comes to loss. Any kid can feel as isolated as Superman, being the only Kryptonian left. Any kid can feel the freedom of putting a costume on and swing free like Spider-Man, just to get away from the real problems of his normal life.

Super Heroes remind us that the world is not the way it's supposed to be. True, Lex Luthor will always be rich, and he will always get away with the crime. True, The Joker commits the crime with a smile on his face, and not care about who he hurts on the way. So why fight?

Cause they can. More importantly, they want to, and they must. Just like we can, and we must. The greedy will always get to the top faster, and it may seem that you have to be an asshole in this world to make it. But if you can stand up, with honor and righteousness as your badges. That means something. People will notice. And though you may die poor, or the niche that you dig for yourself is small. Remember, those rich assholes die too, but people will remember you, and you are worth more than any of those pricks.

Super Heroes stand again in the DC Universe. It is a great time to be a comic book fan.

- Americo

First Post, make it a good one.

As a guy who refuses to create a MySpace account, I always shied away from blogging. However, thanks to one of my favorite actors (Drew), he's inspired me to create a blog. That and the fact that my Webmaster is taking his sweet time in creating my website, but I figure it'd be easier on him if I did all updates here.

So here it is ladies and gents, my first blog. I guess I must make it memorable and prevalent...

Ever shit so hard it sprays on your balls?

Okay, with that out of the way. I guess I should relate some info of myself. I'm turning 30 this year, sometimes I make movies, on rare occasions they come out. I am currently in the midst of working on 3 projects, one of which I am filming at the end of summer. I love films, I would spend the rest of my life happy making movies.

And that is all I have to say for now. Not that you asked, but I shared anyway. I'll see how often I come back to post.

To quote Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, "Be Excellent, to each other."

- Americo