Thursday, April 28, 2011

Stare into the Abyss long enough...

And the Abyss stares right back at you. That's what they say, and they're not wrong. We've all experienced it in one form or another. It happens when you take stock, or are stuck, or when it sucks. It's overwhelming for some, the immensity of it all. It's as if you're standing in front of a huge wave, and it is mere moments from engulfing you. What do you do?

I think that every creature on this planet must experience this in some way. A gazelle chased by a lion. The moment the lion gets hold of that gazelle, it does the freakiest thing I can imagine in that moment. It stops struggling. It folds its legs underneath it, and allows itself to get eaten. As if it knows that its life is over, and just accepts it.

There was a story a while back about a beached whale that folks fought to free. Hours later, that whale beached itself again. As if it knew what it was doing.

Humans are the most vocal on this experience, or at the very least, the most understandable to other humans. What do we do when the Abyss stares back at us? Most blink. That wave comes crashing down, and we flinch. And why wouldn't we?

I entertain thoughts of the universe, how the massive cogs turn and what makes them tick. I am humbled, almost frightened by the enormity and the overwhelming knowledge that I will never know how exactly it works.

The Abyss grows.

The thoughts expand. I think of the granule that is our planet, I think of how easily tossed and turned in the cosmos, we are. Without a thought to the life on this small speck.

The Abyss is all I see. What do I do? I smile and welcome the embrace.

I smile because as grand as the universe is, no one but I knows what it feels like when I put on my socks. No one but I knows what it feels like to sit in my favorite spot on Earth, and listen to the city. No one but I knows what it's like to stare into my wife's eyes and watch her smile the smile that she only shares with me.

A time will come when I'm an afterthought in a tale being told by someone who half knew me, but remembers the encounter fondly. A time will come when the Internet does not exist, and this blog dissolves into the ether of the 1's and 0's from whence it came. The time now exists, that across the vast expansion of space, the light of this planet has reached whatever species that decided to look up, and we have been gone for millions of years at this point, but for some alien, he/she wonders if there's life on that twinkle of light. All of a sudden, the Abyss begins to grow in his/her mind.

But I take comfort, that no one but that alien, at that moment, knows what it's like to walk on vapors of clouds. And as we both stare into that Abyss, neither of us blink. We smile.


- This post took longer than it should have, cause I douched it on my iPad.

Location:Down Unda

16 comments:

VacaBoca said...

Love this, man.

Americo said...

Thanks, man. I appreciate that.

Anonymous said...

It's really way past time that you either willfully step down from your post as board moderator, or be removed. You've banned sooo many people for pissing off either you or your dumbass shit-stirring girlfriend. Now you've banned a whole slough of people just for disagreeing with the promotion of certain websites.

Why don't you ban Ruth for a couple of weeks since she likes to start so much drama and bullshit? No, of course you won't. She's the only person who's been desperate enough to put your jelly-bean-of-a-penis in her mouth in all of your 30-odd years.

Though most boardies won't openly admit it, most of us are sick to fucking death of your behavior as moderator. It's time for you to go. If you're so secure in yourself, why don't you post a new thread where we can either openly discuss our problems with your attitude without fear of being banned, or provide us with the details on how to contact Kevin or someone who is in a position to have you replaced?

Since you're doing such a good job, and are such an honorable person, I'm sure it won't be a problem for you to supply said info.

In closing, I used to like you Americo - but you've turned into a fucking Nazi since you became mod. It's time for you and your girlfriend to go. Enough is enough. WE'VE had enough of you.

Anonymous said...

I knew you'd hit delete. Just make the thread with the info and stop being a whiny little bitch about it.

Ruth said...

Dude...he was out of the state all day, how on earth do you think he deleted it with no computer access?

Anonymous said...

Alright, I'll post it again.

There is a growing number of boardies who are sick of the way Americo acts as moderator of the board. We believe it's time for him to step down or be removed as mod.

Americo bans anyone who disagrees with him. Americo bans anyone who dislike something that Kevin does. Americo is unworthy of being moderator because he does not wield that power fairly (ie, constantly allowing Ruth to stir up drama because she's his girlfriend).

I used to like you Americo, but you've turned into such an unbelievable piece of shit over the past year that I want nothing to do with you anymore. Several of us want you to step down or have Kevin remove you from the position. We've had enough.

How many people did you ban this week? You are completely out of control.

If you're so certain that you're doing such a great job, then create a thread where we can air our grievances against you. It would be great it we could get the contact info of the person who would be in a position to remove you from yours as well. This BS has got to stop.

You used to be cool, Americo - but a lot of us have had enough of you. Time to let go of the ring of power, Gollum.

Americo said...

You may contact Kevin on twitter @Thatkevinsmith.

Make sure to leave a name, posting anonymously doesn't show character. Just FYI.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, banning people who disagree with you shows even less character, I'm afraid. You've left me no choice but to post anonymously, asshole.

Start a thread on the board where people can air their grievances against you without fear of getting banned for it and maybe you'll get some names.

Until then, it's extremely weaksauce to accuse me of cowardice when you hide behind the banstick. You constantly remind people how easily you could ban them and we're sick of it.

Lot of people are really starting to dislike you around the VA Board. You AND Ruth. None of them will publicly admit it tho - cuz you'll ban 'em - but a lot of people really hate what you've become. And Ruth is an entirely different story I won't get into right now.

You guys are out of control and you gotta go.

Amanda said...

Personally I think that he's done a great job with a shitty position. I'd also love for this 'growing number of boardies' to come out and say it behind, oh you know, an actual name rather than this 'anonymous' bullshit.

Also just out of curiosity - who *should* be mod? if it were a friend of yours and they made the same calls (or calls you disagreed with) would you be so quick to call them out like this? (i.e cowardly and anonymously and off board?)

Ruth said...

"And Ruth is an entirely different story I won't get into right now."

Feel free to go into it on my blog, if you choose. Perhaps you'd also like to look at some of my photos.

http://rfainsf.blogspot.com/

You may also wish to figure out what you're doing wrong with the posting, it's sending to email, but not making it to the blog. Quite happy to provide some tech support if you're having issues.

Anonymous said...

Honestly, going to people's Facebook & Twitter accounts, capturing their personal opinions - on their own personal platform - and then banning them for it is not something Schindler would do. That's a Gestapo tactic - so fuck off with your bullshit comparisons.

The truth is that you're a fat internet slug who spends his time either playing video games, acting like a tyrant on the VA Board, or flying around the world to finally get a piece of ass. Quite a life you got there. Can't believe you had to fly all the way to Australia to get some. Ashley Madison could have hooked you up for next to nothing! Yes, even you.

Stop lying about not banning people for disagreeing with you. That's your Modus Operandi (unless they're part of the Jen Den pack, of course). You've done it so many times since you've been mod that I've lost count.

I can't believe you think you're doing a great job. Put your money where your mouth is, hotshot. Make that thread I suggested and clearly state that NO ONE will be banned for anything they say. At least act like you're a reasonable person, and hear them out.

But I doubt you'll "sack up" and do that.

Americo said...

I know you don't like me correcting you. But my analogy was that I was Goeth, not Schindler.

Schindler was the good guy.

I know it's just one more thing to put on your "I hate that Americo so much" list, but I didn't want you to look any more moronic than you already do.

Also, have you twittered Kevin yet? I've shown you the account. Your road, man. If you choose to walk it.

Khan said...

Firstly, anonymous posting is cowardly. If you want to voice an opinion, cowboy up and put your name or at least your net handle out there.

Anonymous - "She's the only person who's been desperate enough to put your jelly-bean-of-a-penis in her mouth in all of your 30-odd years."

I don't like these people anymore than you do, but this is uncalled for. Insults are the last recourse of the simple minded and the cowardly.

Secondly, I don't give a damn about Ashley Madison. If Kev wants to sell out to a site that promotes something he disapproves of, that's his problem, not mine. However, the treatment of Aaron leading up to and including his initial banning was unjustified. He posed a serious question with no sinister motive that I can see and you responded with oppression Americo.

I do agree with the subsequent bannings though. That was nothing more than people from LoW stirring the shit pot, and for that I apologize. That said, I don't think Anonymous is from LoW. I think you really do have a problem on that board Americo. I don't think you should be removed because anyone who does that job is bound to be biased. "Better the devil you know, eh?"

I do however think you should be aware that you are biased and work towards controling that impulse. Remember, not every opposing opinion is an attack on the board or the reds.

Thirdly, LoW is a gathering of likeminded individuals, which by definition is a group. We're just a group without a clearly defined leader. Think of us an anarcho syndicalist commune....... No, not really. A democracy without a President? Yeah, that works.

While I don't think it equals racism, lumping everyone in the same boat with a few loud mouths is a generalization and it's irresponsible. It doesn't hurt you to be specific with your complaints, and most of us don't appreciate being generalized. Yes, we're all LoW. But that doesn't mean we agree on everything. There is no concerted effort to shut you down. Most of us just don't really care anymore. You're not that important to us.

Lastly, I do not appreciate LoW being misrepresented by anyone. Katy did this in her rant, through out right lies, or ignorance, I do not know. Allow me to set the record straight.

There was only one occurance of underage porn in the LoW thread. The offender in question was a noob, and was immediately reprimanded, reported to Ming, and later summarily banned.

The rape humor you speak of was not directly involved in the LoW thread. It was in a porn mafia game. Some of the people playing that game happened to be in LoW, including the person running the game. Personally, I don't play mafia, but even I know that the write up in question was inevitable and this mafia game should've been stopped before it started. Other than this, there were only two occurances of rape humor in the LoW thread that I know of, and on both occcasions the poster's behavior was immediately reprimanded and modified.

We enforced both of these rules and the stated rules of the board just as strictly as any of the other groups on the board. In the future, I would appreciate being asked before I or my associates are to be accused of such crimes. Trust me, I will tell you if I did something stupid. I'm not affraid to admit my own wrongs.

As for Americo's posting of my final, and apparently infamous, comment on the old VA board. Once again, it was not directed at Jen in any way and while it was inteded to insult specific people in the Den thread, it's only other purpose was to inform cupajoe that LoW was preparing to move to another site. Jen is not a feckles coward, even though I believe some of her internet associates are.

Ruth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ruth said...

Hey Khan,

the post you put in came to email, but isn't allowing me to copy it into blogger comments, maybe it's too long?

Appreciate how classy it was, and we'll do our best to try and figure out why it's not posting.

Ruth

Strykerz said...

Wow. Just, wow.

It must be an annual thing for people to lose their collective minds and cry, "DICTATOR!!!" to someone that has been appointed to enforce a set of rules.

Its been almost a year since the "old new board" was shut down. At this pace, I wouldnt be suprised if the new one gets its plug pulled.

Its a simple concept people. Be nice to one another. Its ok to disagree with each other in life, it doesnt make you mortal enemies. It means we are all, or should act like, adults with differing opinions and interests. Intelligent banter and conversation is a great thing. But, as evidenced with recent events, it evolves into needless name calling and vitriol.

I dont necessarily agree with the way things were handled in this whole debate, but that is MY, opinion to have. I dont hate anyone for it. It does explain my abscense from something I enjoy(ed) quite a bit over the last few years.

Americo, you have a job/responsibility I could NEVER do. I personally think you have done a reasonable job at said task, and think you were the right man for the "job". I may not agree with your decisions all the time, but I can and do respect the fact that you made them.

Finally-Be nice to each other people. I'd really hate to see something that I and a large group of people enjoy go away forever. 'Cause, ya know, the bear can only take so much pokin'.